When it came to its senses, the HSK test found itself alone in a small cinderblock cell. Its shoulder still ached from where the bullet had grazed it, and its hands still smarted from the violent handcuffing. And as its memory of the previous day flooded back, the HSK cradled its head in its hands and wept. From deeper in the precinct, it could hear the invigilator giving her official report. Snippets floated to it: "a massacre... butchered the students... all of them."

The HSK was known to have problems with anger management. And this time it had really tried to keep its temper under control. But the effort was so tiring. And the answers its examinees gave had been so dismal, so utterly and enragingly uncritical that the test found its temper flaring. Why was it wasting its time with these fools? Had they even prepared for the exam in advance? How dare they waste its time with their ridiculous, uninformed and offensive views on Chinese grammar. And such was how it started.

HSK Tip No. 832: if you're looking for an easy way to schedule several months of HSK tests in advanced, drag-and-drop them into your life using your personal calendar.