We'll admit that your debut in China didn't go over so well. Everyone knows the tones are tough, but when Jackie Chan saved your life and you told him to... no... no... let's not dwell on obscenities. I was surprised the audience hounded you out of the theater with pitchforks though (and where did those torches come from?). At least your publicist is happy at your making the front page of Xinhua!

But it's not the end of the world. We just want you to listen to this podcast, since maybe you need a little grounding from the pros. Acting in China is hard work: voice training, limericks, memorization and sweat, sweat, sweat. But the good news is that there's no need for you to enroll in the Central Drama Academy: today we're bringing its voice training secrets right to you.