Notice that shark over there? That's right, our Elementary Chinese lesson for today is all about man-eating beasts of the deep. It is unapologetically inspired by Jaws III, and particularly that scene where the Great Whites start ramming the underwater observation tunnels at Seaworld to the shock and horror of the soon-to-be-eaten tourist hordes.

Despite the fact that its dialogue was written by an eight year old, our podcast for today offers more than weeks of unrelenting nightmares for the discriminating Chinese student. In it we showcase all the mandarin you'll ever need to bluff your way through the Orient as a marine biologist. In addition, we also teach a valuable Machiavellian lesson on how to bend others to your will and coerce colleagues into risking life and limb through the steady application of negative rhetorical questions. Enjoy!