We've all been in this sordid situation. Your date was a wild success and you've come back home for a nightcap. But just as you step to the door you reach into your pocket and find something wrong: it has been picked clean. But by whom? Was it your surly waiter? The child selling roses who snaked after you down the street, pulling at your arm? The shifty group of ragged layabouts who operated that makeshift coat-check outside the restaurant?

Whoever the culprit, it seems you will now be spending the rest of your evening walking around looking for an open locksmith. So fire up your iPod and tune in to this podcast for all the language you'll need to get things fixed. Or at least all the language you'll need to complain about your lost keys to anyone who will listen, locksmith included.